I'm not a mean person. I'm really not. Its not me. I don't think that anyone ever deserves to be treated mean or rudely. Even if they are mean to you. You never know what is making people act the way that they are.
I also try really hard to be a forgiving person. I feel like I am pretty successful at this. I generally forgive people pretty quickly, even if they never apologize to me. I want people to forgive me for any wrongs that I do, and I feel like if I can't forgive others then I don't deserve forgiveness for others. Its a work in progress, but I am getting better every day, and I am happier because of this.
This being said, last night I was purposefully mean to someone. I thought that being mean and cold to this person would make me feel better. I thought I wanted to be rude because somehow it would help me.
As you can tell, it didn't help. Not in the tiniest little bit. In fact, it made me feel even worse. I felt so terrible. Looking back, I don't even recognize the person who did that. I have no idea why I thought it would be okay for me to act in such a childish way. It wasn't me at all.
Thankfully, I was able to say sorry and ask forgiveness.
I have since resolved to work on being nicer to EVERYONE. And I really do mean everyone. Even the ones who are rude to me. It feels so good to be Nice Nicole again. I don't like being mean Nicole and I hope that she never comes out again.
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