D is for Don't Date Douchebags

The title pretty much say's it all. Don't do it.


This one applies to both genders, cause ladies, let's be honest here, we can be douchebags too. It's a fact of life.

Need some examples? Don't worry little ones, I got this one covered.

If they don't want anyone to know that you are dating and climb out a window in your apartment so your room mates don't see them, you might not want to date them.

If they don't want anyone to know you are dating at all, you might not want to date them.

If they get upset every time you want to go do something with your room mates, you might not want to date them.

If they don't believe that you really are only having a girls night with your room mates, you might not want to date them.

If they only want to make out you, you might not want to date them.

If they get to text ex girlfriends/boyfriends, but get upset when you glance at member of the opposite gender, you probably shouldn't date them.

If they refuse to meet your family after dating for awhile, you probably shouldn't be dating them.

If they make fun of your beliefs, break up with them.

Now, I get it, sometimes it's hard to tell if a person is a douchebag right off the bat. Sometimes it takes awhile for these things to surface. But, once they do, RUN.

I get it. Dating is hard. Especially now. They don't always have to text you first. They don't have to want to hang out with you all the time. But everyone deserves someone who is going to treat them right. If they can't respect you or if they treat you like dirt, don't waste your time on them. It doesn't matter how cute they are, or how wonderful you have built them up in your mind to be. It's not worth the inevitable pain that will come.

C is for Country Music

This semester is packed full of methods courses, such as teaching math, teaching social studies, teaching reading, and teaching writing-to name a few. In my writing class, our teacher firmly believes that of we are going to be effective writing teachers, then we have to be writers ourselves. Because of this, we have a short quick write every class, where she poses a question or the beginning of a sentence and we respond. I thought I would use this post to show off some of my favorite responses. 

This first one was a descriptive writing that Rachel, Kayla and I did about a parade. We were given the word parade and were told to come up with various descriptive words that we could use to describe the parade without actually saying parade, and then we were told to write a story about it. This is what we came up with-

"During the hot summer, the whole town gathers on the cool grass to watch the glimmering instruments as they move in unison down the center lane. Amid the shouting and cheering, the sirens begin leading the slow procession through the city. As the colorful floats, glittering in the sunlight pass by, tired parents watch their laughing children greedily snatch up the sweets thrown on the rough pavement. Large hands lead sticky fingers away from the smells of the wet pavement and the musky crowds."

That day we also came up with things like " A damp towel is a useless as soggy bread," and "A damp towel feels like wet socks after a jog through the woods, the woods, oh the woods."

One of my favorite things that I have written in this class (the one that bring it back to the letter C) is this one. The prompt we were given was "If my life was a song it would be..." This is what I came up with. 

"If my life was a song it would be a country song. It would be one that would make you want to dance. Full of happy times to make you giggle and sad times to make you quiet, my song would be one that would make you look back longingly to the past, while still allowing you to look forward to the future with hope."

So, if your life was a song- what would your song be?

B is for Beautiful. You are Beautiful.

This post is written specifically for my little sister. As the oldest girl in my family,  my goal as my sister grows up is to be the older sister to her that I wish I had growing up, the one who was supposed to tell me all of these things.

However, the things that I will be writing about in this installment can apply to everyone- even boys!

A few years ago I took a family finance class here at Utah State. While in the class one of our assignments was to figure out our net worth. For those of you who don’t know how to find your net worth, in simple terms, you take everything you own and add up how much that is worth, then subtract all the debts you have and wham! That’s how much money you are worth.

As a poor college student, sitting down to do the assignment proved to be discouraging and upsetting. The most expensive thing that I owned was my camera, and possibly my laptop. I had a $200 championship water polo ring, but other than that, I didn’t have anything of value. Those few hundred dollars didn’t even begin to make a dent in the student loans I was currently racking up. Suddenly, I was worth nothing.  As a woman, I had grown up with media shoving their idea of a worth while woman in my face constantly, and according to my net worth, I didn’t measure up.

This assignment made me start to think about the idea of self-worth and body image. Why is it we tell the girls who have the expensive haircuts and designer jeans that they are the important ones? That they are the ones who have the most worth? How is this supposed to make the girl sitting in the corner in with the supercuts haircut and $10 walmart jeans? Is she not important? Does she not matter? Is she not beautiful as well?

Sydney, (and all of the rest of you reading this) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

As a daughter of God, a princess of the most royal king, created in His image, there is no way that you can not be beautiful. President Utchdorf has given numerous talks on this subject. One of his most famous, the one about the Forget-Me-Not, although aimed at Relief Society sisters, has important applications for every woman (and man, of course) no matter their age. Heavenly Father loves you. He is always aware of you, of your hopes and desires, of your sorrows and trials. He does not look to earthly things to determine your worth, but rather, He looks inside of you.

Recently, President Utchdorf gave another talk, this time in the General women’s session of the October 2014 conference. While his talk was focused on living the gospel joyfully, he did say this- “Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe?” None of that matters to Him. It doesn't matter if you carry hundred dollar purses, or if you wear sweatpants all day. 

Because you are a child of the most high God, you are infinitely precious in His sight.

And, you are beautiful.  Don’t any of you ever forget that. 

A is for Always.

Always. 

Snape said it. Whitney Houston sang about it.  Everyone is searching for it.

Talking to people is always so fascinating. No matter what you talk about, no matter who you talk to, there is always the underlying theme of forever and always. They may be talking about love. They might not be. You could be talking to a completely random stranger about their likes, their dislikes, but it's always there. It's clear that everyone is searching for something that will last forever, something that will always be there.

How interesting do you think it would be for many people to learn that they already have something that will always be there. Something, that no matter what they do, will always be there. No matter how many mistakes they make, how many times they try and fail, will always be there?

Always.
That's the promise our Heavenly Father gives us for His love. Always. And yet, we are often slow to believe this. I have often wondered why this is. If we are all searching for our always, why would we not believe that our Heavenly Father would always love us? How powerful the grasp of Satan, to make us believe that we have sinned more than our Father's perfect love can forgive.

The scriptures are full of examples of our Father's unfailing love. The parable in Matthew of the prodigal son is an amazing example. My most favorite and the one that really drives home this point in my own life, is the story of Alma the Younger. After all he had done, all the sins he committed, our Father in Heaven STILL loved him. In Mosiah we read that because of his sins, Alma was wracked with the pains of his sins, he sorrowed so much that he wished he could die, that he could be banished from the presence of the Father, and yet, even still, the Father always loved him. He never stopped. Finally, after having repented of his sins, Alma was filled with immense joy, that he remembered them no more and was filled with a marvelous light. (see Mosiah 36)

How comforting this passage has been in my own life. There have been times when I have sinned and have allowed the devil to drag me down into that awful hell, full of grief and pain. There have been many times that I have cried out in pain, believing that the Father has forgotten me, that there was no possible way that He could ever love me again.

Oh, how wrong I have been, The Father has always been there. He has always loved me.

We do have our part to do though. We must not run through this life thinking that it is okay to do whatever, because the Lord will always love us. While the knowledge that the Father will always love me is what brings me peace and allows me to start each new day with a hope for the future, I must do my part and repent of all of my wrong doings. And while that is not always easy, it must be done. It is the knowledge that there is nothing I can do, no level I can sink to, that the infinite light of the Savior and his atonement can not find me, can not reach me.

In April of 2012, Elder Jeffery R. Holland gave a talk entitled "The Laborers in the Vineyard". This talk entered into my life at the exact moment that I was struggling with this concept the most, further proving that the Father is ever mindful of me. I had not told anyone of my struggles, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I had not prayed about them wither, and yet, this talk came at a critical and important time.

This is only a small, simple part of his talk, given at the very end, and yet, to me, it is the most important part of the entire talk. I'll let Elder Holland do the talking, because he can say things in ways that my simple words could never begin to do justice.



Always.

Coming Soon!!

I am so excited for this announcement. 

For Christmas, a very good friend gave me a book called K Is For Knifeball. If you haven't read this book, and are not easily offended, you NEED to read this. I laughed so hard I almost cried. For those of you who do get easily offended or for whatever reason do not read, basically this book goes through the entire alphabet giving horrible advice for each letter. It's hilarious. 

After reading this particular book to another friend, she suggested that I make my own. I really liked that idea and immediately set to work creating my own alphabet. Although this project started out simply, and as one liners, I have tweaked it, as an attempt to challenge myself as a writer, into what it is today. 

And so, I give you the Alphabet According to Nicole. 

Basically, every week (hopefully) I will write a post that has to do with each letter, starting with A. Some of these posts will be funny, some will make you cry. Some will be gospel oriented, while others will be about schools and teaching. Every post will be different. You may love some, and hate others, but each week there will be something new. 

So, sit back and enjoy the ride. It's going to be good.   

Let It Go. Please.

As a hotel housekeeper, I have ample time to listen to music. Working four days a week adds up to a lot of time to waste listening to all kinds of music. 

Recently, I have been listening to the Frozen soundtrack (don't judge. I freaking love that movie) Anyway, I remember back when the film first came out, there were many mommy bloggers ranting about Frozen and specifically the song Let It Go. One blog stated that she would not allow her daughters to watch the movie anymore because Let It Go teaches her daughters to let go of the rules and not worry about what's right or wrong. Many other blogs have complained that the song is actually a way for Disney to promote a gay or homosexual agenda. 

With all this negativity swirling around, I thought I might add my own two cents, my positive two cents. Take it as you will, this is just my opinion. 

First. 

      If you forbid your children from watching Frozen simply because of one song, you clearly didn't pay attention to the movie. Yes, Elsa sings about finally letting go, pushing off the pressures and not worrying about what is right or wrong. Yes, she decides to make decisions based solely on how she feels, what feels right to her. And yes, I agree, at the time it seems like Elsa is having the time of her life. She makes her own rules, her own ice palace, even makes a fabulous new dress. All based on what she thinks that she hasn't been allowed to do while living in the palace. So I understand why some parents may not want their children to follow this example. However, I suggest that you continue to watch the movie, because an important lesson is taught further down the line. 

       While Elsa is off by herself making her own choices, not worrying about what effects her actions have on others, others are suffering because of her actions. Children should be taught that every action has consequences, good or bad, and that sometimes, they are not the only ones that have to feel the effect that come from those actions. 

      Ultimately, Elsa learns that her actions have effects on people besides herself, and she realizes that that sometimes, rules and guidelines are there to help and protect us. Although throwing away the rules and only acting on your own impulses may seem to be exciting and so fun in the beginning, eventually that novelty wears off. Reality always catches up and like Elsa, you will once again be confronted with those rules and fears again. What are you going to do? Keep running forever? What kind of life would you have? Sure, it took a drastic act of freezing her sister, but Elsa learns it in that moment. 

Second. 

     Now, this may be slightly controversial and some people may be upset with what I have to say. But I feel like I need to say it. However, I would like to begin by letting you all know that I LOVE the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love being a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I fully understand that the commandments given are not given restrict us or our agency, but that they are put into place as protections, that when we keep and live the commandments that we will be happy and joyful. That said, I believe that sometimes we don't necessarily teach our children this fact and we can, as a church, only focus on the negative, what will happen if we don't keep the commandments and simply gloss over the fact that they bring joy to our lives. Because of this, I know many youth who feel so much pressure to be perfect and get stressed and depressed when they cannot fully live up to these expectations. 

How awful!

Sticking with the Frozen theme, in the song Let It Go, the very one that's under fire, Elsa sings about how she was always told to be a good perfect girl, and how since she is letting go, that perfect girl is gone. She then goes on to sing 

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!

      I believe that we can learn a lesson from this. Instead of beating our children down with the negative, we need to teach them that our church is a church filled with non perfect people, and THAT IS OKAY. That's how its supposed to be! We are not supposed to be perfect, we are here to make mistakes and learn from them. And believe me. I have made some of the stupidest mistakes ever. Many of the mistakes that I have made I wish I could go back in time and not do. But that's where the repentance process comes in. 

    So we need to teach our children that it's okay to make mistakes. That its okay not to be perfect. Teach them that it's okay to Let It Go. That sometimes they need to. Perfect people don't exist. Let them go out in the world, where the storm is constantly raging, and let them make their own mistakes and decisions. 

Just Let The Stars Guide You

I like to look at stars. A lot. I will honestly stay up for hours just looking up at the stars. I actually just had a friend ask me why I always wanted to go stargazing, and this was my response. It may seem silly, but stars actually play a really big and important role in my life. Let me explain.

Now, for those of you who are actually reading this, I don't know how you feel about God, if you believe in one or not, and I don't want to use this post to force anything on you, just read. 

Growing up, I was always taught that I was a daughter of God, a Heavenly Father who loved me more than my mortal understanding could ever come to grasp. While I know this to be true, occasionally, life throws dark storm clouds across our skies and sometimes it can be hard to remember just how much Heavenly Father loves us. Sometimes, when life gets hard, its easy to forget how important we really are. 

That's where stars come into play for me. The reason that I like to look at stars is because they remind me of how special I am. When I look at them, I am reminded that out of all of his vast and innumerable creations, I am important to him. Heavenly Father knows me my name, He knows my hopes and dreams, and He knows best how to comfort me. He knows when I have reached my breaking point and He knows exactly when to send me help. I like to look at the stars because it comforts me to know that not only does He know how many stars there are in the heavens, but He also knows who I am, and He loves me so much, I am so important to Him, and that He will NEVER forget me. 

 During one particularly hard time in my life, I had lost sight of how special and precious I really was. Using one of his best tactics, Satan had lead me to believe that I wasn't anything important and my problems didn't matter. Why, compared to the entire world, and everyone in it, my problems didn't even amount to a speck of dust. So I went for a walk one night, just trying to find some peace anywhere, from anything. I remember that it was a cloudy night, and I was really upset that I couldn't see the stars. I felt like if I could just see one star, that for some reason, that would mean that Heavenly Father really did love me, and that things would be okay. I walked and walked, but there weren't any stars. Frustrated, I decided to return home, and as I reached my door, I turned around one more time, and to my surprise, the clouds were completely gone, and the night sky was lit up with the most beautiful stars. 

Even now, no matter what happens, whenever I am feeling small and unimportant, when the world has pushed me to believe that I don't matter, I turn my eyes toward the heavens, and without fail, no matter how cloudy or stormy it is, Heavenly Father always shows me His stars. Even if it is one tiny star peeking out through the angry storm clouds, there is always one there, and I am always reminded of just how much He loves me.